You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
