Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
