i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
