This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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