Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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