I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
