I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
