yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
