I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
operation harelip BJ is a go
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
