I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm like, not good at living.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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