I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Randomize
