Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
