haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
