I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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