69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
