Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
