im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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