She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
