i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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