Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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