oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
