Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I need to sanitize my soul.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
