I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
