Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
