i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
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