so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
