Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
bring money and cleavage
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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