when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
