i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
