If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
