I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
