State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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