It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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