She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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