So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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