Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
What a dumb baby whore.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
