Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
