ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
She has the best kind of daddy issues
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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