Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Randomize
