Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
