He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
