he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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