a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
