p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
