i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
