So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
