is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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