So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
