Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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