I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Also, beer. Big fan.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
