they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
