Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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