You're so nebulous sometimes
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
