Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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