i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
