yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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