dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
